I thought this one was today, and I kinda dreaded it.

Day 5: Dreams.

Dear Dreams,

I'm going to keep this one kinda short and maybe not-so-on-topic, because I came to a realization today and that's what I actually want to talk about. But come to think about it, maybe it is true what they say...inspiration only comes after writing itself. Smart.

Anyway, Dear Dreams...
You terrify me. Mostly because I'm scared that you're impossible. And I worry about it all the time, and I think I just end up running frantically in circles because of that. But it's like this song I have on a CD that I've been playing in my car: "Wouldn't you agree? Running always slows you down?"

Today I came to this realization (mostly about a completely different situation, but thinking about it now, I guess it relates a lot to my dreams). You know, the life I have planned in my head is not my life. And I really just need to learn to let go and let the life that is mine (or will be) come to me. There's nothing more I can do than what I CAN do (there's not NOTHING I can do; I can try my best and do everything I know to try to make it what I want...or think I want). And there IS a point, a line in the sand, where I just have to stop and let it ride. I can say all I want, but I can't make someone love me or the book get published or everything work out right. And maybe if I've said all I can and it's still not turning out the way I want, maybe I'm just not seeing it the right way. Maybe he's not the one or that's not my dream job or I'm not supposed to go abroad and I am supposed to have something I just. can't. see yet.

See, the thing is, things have always worked out, and I know that no matter what, even if nothing is what I think it will be from my naive, 20-year-old perspective right now, I KNOW I will be happy in the end. And really, that's the only dream I have.

Hey, maybe it's really like you said, and everything will be alright. Ah, thanks for that.

Love, Lauren.