Day 1.

So. I saw this somewhere, and if you know me, you'll know how into it I'd be. It's called the 30 Day Letter Challenge. You write one letter per day for 30 days. And...normally, I'd say that's a pretty big committment to something kinda trivial when I am so so busy and have so much else going on/that I could do. But, since I'm kind of in a place right now where I don't exactly know who I am or where I'm going, I figure it might give me some direction or perspective or something on my life. What's important? What lurks in the corners I haven't explored lately? Maybe most importantly, who will these letters be to? Ah, here it goes.

Day 1: Best Friend.

Dear Best Friend:

This isn't really a hard one to decide who to write to, but it is kind of a hard one to decide what to write. Mmm, but I don't think it'll be like this forever. I think it's just how it is right now.

You're my best friend. We've been through a lot a lot. And I thank you for it. I don't know what I would do without you....or how I'd have gotten through some of the stuff I did. You're pretty much the only person I feel I can just TALK to.. Without a filter...say how I really feel, be ugly, tell pretty much everything to. I think that's something special, the bond we have in that way. I don't know...we just GET each other. Or at least that's how I feel. I don't think there will ever be anything quite like that, at least for me. It might be different for you. And I think it's been kinda different lately. I mean, we've both been really busy, and there's been a lot of new beginnings and brand new endings in our lives and we're kinda on different pages right now. But I just feel like I don't really....GET you. I mean, I can't track things, I don't know what you think or what you're doing, I feel like kinda a constant...burden? Intrusion? on the life you're living. I feel like I've done something wrong or maybe you don't approve of how I'm steering my life right now or something...but I think you'd tell me if that was true. I guess I just feel a little lost right now, and I feel like you haven't really been in my orbit enough to be reachable. You're there for me all the time, though, so I guess I feel like I should take this one on on my own, and learn to just suck it up and be ok. Honestly, it hurts me a little, but only a little. I'm fine. Like I said, I get that we're busy and on different pages and focusing on new beginnings and things like that. I just worry that things have actually changed for real after college this year, and that the dynamic will be completely different when school starts again and lots of other people enter our lives. I kinda feel like it HAS changed.

But that's ok too. Things change. It's really not that big of a deal because you're still my best friend. And that sounds too simple and lame to counterbalance all the stuff I just said, but it's actually the only thing that's important, and it weighs more than anything else. I know it's just time and age and change, and I know it's just summer, and I know that it's all ok. For reals. The End.

Love,
Me.