And all the bridges you've burned leave you trapped off at all sides...or I'm really kind of pissed off.

I'm really kind of pissed off.
I have no idea if this will make any sense at all.

First (and not really related): I am not stupid. I do actually know what's going on. (You don't have to pretend)

Now:
I burn bridges. You may or may not have heard this from me or realized this about me before, but it's true.
A lot of times, if something happens or I get annoyed, I just completely cut the offending thing (read: person) out of my life. (In fact, if you're reading this, you probably DIDN'T know this, because you're obviously one of the survivors). And it's easy. And it doesn't really bother me. That's wrong, isn't it?
I don't usually regret it. In fact, I don't usually think about it after.
And it's so EASY.

But here's what I'm thinking about: when it's not easy. Because it seems like, with me, it's either too easy or too hard.
Sometimes, I think I'm missing that gene that allows someone to get really really angry when someone hurts them. I like to think of it as the typical girl gene or the facebook status update gene (you know, "is SOOOOO better off without you!!!!!!" Or any Taylor Swift lyrics). And sometimes I wish I had it.

Here's the thing, though. I don't know WHY. I don't know WHY I can get angry at some people--so angry I decide I absolutely cannot tolerate that and want nothing to do with it ever again--and why I can't get angry at others--why I hold it in and bury it and strive to make THEM not mad at ME when they've done things that are probably worse and more unforgiveable.

The best I can come up with is that some people just mean more. Even if the reason isn't logical or good. Even if they, because of past actions, deserve to be cut out or deserve not to mean anything at all. I guess I must still need something. Or want something. Or maybe one day, the anger will be there, and there will be a big explosion. Or maybe I'll just keep going rround and round and round.
I don't know.

I just don't know.